Appreciation Accepted: MUST READ FOR LAUGHING

She Gives a missed call to him .. and he calls her back.. She:  Hello! He:  (are yaar...Raat ke 10 bajte nahin ki iski 2-2 second waali missed calls shuru..pata nahi aaj kya bore karegi ) Hi ...kya baat hai..? She:  kuch nahi...bas aise hi phone kiya... He:  ( Aise hee ??? ye kya radio station hai ki aise hee .. velli !! Aur Call kahan kiya ?.. khali missed call to diya hai, roz ki tarah... )   oh...ok ..kya kar rahi thi meri jaan ?? She:  abhi abhi dinner khatam kiya...tum kya kar rahe the? He:  (mai to lunch karke utha hoon na) mera bhi abhi abhi dinner khatam hua.. ab...."Ladki Kyon Najaane Kyon" sun raha hu FM par.... She:  nice song.. (And then she hums a line from the song "Hum Tum") He:  ( yaaaaaaaaarrrrr .. kyun bola gaane ka naam .. ab ye Madonna saare raag gaa degi yaheen .. Saala wahan koi chipkali 'kich kich' kar rahi hai ya .. ) hey!!!! tum itni achchi gaati ho? mujhe pata hi nahi tha .. She: *giggles* He:  (ohhhho kya hansti hai .. aisa lag raha hai koi gaadi start kar raha hai) Hey ek aur baar gaao na pls! She:  yaha sab so rahe hai...agar main gaaongi to sab uth jaaenge.. He:  ( Ekdum Correct...woh yehi samjhenge ki koi bhootni hai, kisi baat par nataaz ho gayi hai ... ) Come on! Please! She:  hattt ...I don't sing that well He:  (  yeh to saari duniya ko pata hai... paka kyun rahi hai ) It was really sweet. Please gaao na dear .. She:  mujhe kuch ajeeb sa lagta hai jaan .. He:  (mujhe tujhse jyada ajeeb lagta hai, dekh phyr bhi shaheed hone ko tayaar baitha hoon) aisa kuch bhi nahi hai jaanu...gaao na She: tumhi keh sakte ho... warna … He:  ( mai? saala mere ko doosra raasta nahi hai....is liye bola ) abhi tum gaaogi ya nahi? She:  kyun pareshaan kar rahe ho? He: Sigh! Ok She:  I don't have that great a voice .. ye to aise hee gaa diya tha ... warna mai nahin gaati He:  ( fir aise hee ??? bada ehsaan karti agar nahin gaati .. kaan mai se khoon nikalne waala hai .. saala gadha bhi sharma jaaye teri awaaz sunke.. ) hmmmm She:  theek hai... jab itni zid kar rahe ho... sirf ek stanza gaaungi theek hai?? He:  ( abbe teri !!! fas gayaaaaa ... shittttt .. aur kya kya jhelna padega malum nahi.. ) Great!!!! She:  kaunsa gaana gaau ? He:  ( tum kuch bhi gaao... meri to aaj by default neend haraam hai.. )Hmmmm. 'Mahiya' from Awarapan? She:  Nice song. But mujhe lyrics yaad nahi hai He:  ( Thank God .. Text book chhodke tujhe aur kya pata hai bol ... ) Dhoom Machale? She: Nahi main wohi gaana gaaungi He:  ( Aye tere nakhre .. mai to jaise mara jaa raha hoon teri awaaz sun ne ke liye shakira .. koi bhi gaana gaa....mere kaan to pakne waale hai ) Cool (She clears her throat, hums a line and then) She:  Nahi jaan. I am feeling very shy! He:  (to shuru kyun hoti hai .. ek bar shuru hokar khatam kyun nahin karti jaldi jaldi .. ab kya eden gardens book karun, tab gayegi) Gaao na...pls gaao na....teri awaaz ki samundar me main doob jaana chahta hoon She:  dekho...ab tum mujhe naaraaz kar rahe ho .. He:  ( Achchha ab tujhe manaane mai poore sheher ko phool leke bhejun kya ) No no. Tum shy feel kar rahi ho na....is liye... Trying to make u comfortable .. She:  Hmmm… He:  ( ye makkhi ki tarah kya shuru ho gayi) please gaao na darling .. She:  main kal gaaun ? He:   Haaaaaannnn...jaaan bachi... nikal leta hoon...abhi mauka hai ) theek hai jaisi tumhaari merzi She:  Hmmm He:  Good night She:  Good night She:  Sweet Dreams.. Take care... He:  Sweets dreams to u too... (kaahe ke sweet dreams .. sone degi tab na ayenge dreams .. abhi 2 minute mai fir call karegi bore karne ke liye) After a while She calls Him (sorry...that never happens, she gives only a missed call) ... She: Hey.. so gaye the kya? He: ( nahi...current ka aavishkaar kar raha tha...ab teri call ke baad aadmi ke clones banaunga ) nahi jaan. She: kya kar rahe ho? He: ( raat ko kya gili danda khelna hai... ) Match dekh raha tha She: theek hai tum match dekho He: ( phone rakhegi to dekhunga na .. ya tu running commentary sunayegi) Hey it's ok... purana match hai. She: Did u feel bad I didn't sing? (Since it is a tricky question, He thinks for a while) He: (Bad eh? Crazy girl .. this was the luckiest day in my life, since you didn't sing ) Bad toh main nahi keh raha jaanu. But I want you to be comfortable first.... tumhi ne bola ki main kal gaaungi..... So, me waiting.. (maine to socha tha ki aaj bach gaya....dhatttt tereki :-( ) She sings 1 stanza from the song 'Jiski aankhon me meri hi nami.....' He: Wow. Too good! She: jhoot....mujhe maloom hai ki meri awaaz itni achchi nahi hai He: ( saamne aa jaa, fir bataata hoon .. pagal kar diya .. chalo shukr hai self realization hai... :-)... ) nahi darling you really sing well. She: nahi..mujhe maloom hai tum bas aise hi keh rahe ho He: ( very good.. aakhir tumne pata laga hi liya.....kyun bhagwaan kyun !! mere saath ye julm kyun ) Cheee! Cheee! teri voice agar itni buri hoti to main ab tak na sun raha hota She: Hmmmm...theek hai. good night.. ab tum bhi so jaao.. He: ( achcha mil gayi permission .. waise tera gaana sunne ke baad neend kahan aayegi ab .. ) Good night! She: Take care He: You too She: Hey.... He: ( arrre yaar..aaj ye nahi chhodegi ,,, ) kya hai sweety? . She: sach bataao honey..meri voice achchi hai ya nahi... He: ( tu apni voice khud record karke sun kyon nahi leti ek baar !!  dimaag ka dahi kar rakha hai .. lassi banaake peeja mere dimaag ki ) sachchi... Of course. She: sirf jhoot He: ( iski toh... !! jab pata hai to mujhse kya singing sensation ka award legi !! phata dhol… ) Not at all. You sing very well.. She: Hmmm.... tum keh rahe ho to theek hi hoga. Good night. He: Good Night!!

how much for the fence

A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some condoms.
She asks, ''What size please?''
''Good question," he replies, " I'm not sure,"
''Tell ya what. Right outside, there's a fence with three holes in it,
stick your dick in the holes and tell me which one it fits in,''
suggests the lady.
So he takes her advise, goes outside and puts his dick in the first
hole. A woman walks past, see's his dick and starts feeling it.
The man thinks, ''Hey, this ain't too bad.''
Then he puts his dick in the second hole, another woman walks by, and
gives him a blow job. At this point, he is literally blown away.
He quickly shoves his dick in the last hole, and yet another woman
walks by, and she starts to shag him.
After they are done rocking, he high-steps it back inside and goes to
the counter.
The assistant asks ''What size then?''
"Forget the condoms," says the man, "how much for the fence?"

Who's he going to tell

One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He
calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to
go to work.

Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, ''Are you
really going to let him get away with this?''

''No, I guess not,'' says God.

The priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn't bump
into anyone he knows. The golf course is empty when he gets there. So
he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a
hole in one.

Saint Peter watches in disbelief and asks, '' Why did you let him do that?''

To this God says, ''Who's he going to tell?''

Keep Going

Spend 5 minutes in reading the great story underneath.




One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. ..
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
'God', I said. 'Can you give me one good reason not to quit?'


His answer surprised me...


'Look around', He said. 'Do you see the fern and the bamboo?'


'Yes', I replied.
'When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.


In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
'In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
'I would not quit.' He said.
'Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. ..
But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.


It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.


I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.'
He said to me. 'Did you know, my child, that all this time you have
been struggling,
you have actually been growing roots'


'I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.'
'Don't compare yourself to others.' He said.
'The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern.
Yet, they both make the forest beautiful.'
'Your time will come', God said to me. 'You will rise high!'
'How high should I rise?' I asked.


'How high will the bamboo rise?' He asked in return.
'As high as it can?' I questioned.
'Yes.' He said, 'Give me glory by rising as high as you can.'
I left the forest and bring back this story.


I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
He will never give up on you.


Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you happiness;
Bad days give you experiences;
Both are essential to life.


Keep going....

If seen the movie " Wednesday"...( Rephrased) for all the engineers...

All of you who have seen the movie  'Wednesday'... will love these rephrased naseerudin shah dialogue's...


Project Manager Rathore : kaun ho tum..??? kya pehcan hai tumhari ?

Unkonwn Caller :  Kaun hoon mein...mein vo hu jo aaj committment karne se darta hai, Mein vo hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta ha, ye soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchanne se inkar na kar de...

mein vo hoon jo, aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se na nikal de..

mein vo hoon jiski girlfriend usse friday  ko dus bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? "
mera haal poochne ke liye ya kaam poochne ke liye nahi,  rathore saab... balki vo ye jaanaa chahti hai ki... kahin hamesha ki tarah end moment pe
boss ke bulane pe mein saturdary ki date cancel to nahi kar raha...

mein vo hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. vo bhi time mil jae to...

mein vo hoon jo aksar phasta hain
kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mey phasta hai , kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mey phasta hai, kabhi boss  aur client ke bawaal mey fasta hai.

Walk-In ki bheed  to dekhi hogi aapne rathore saab... us bheed mein se ko bhi chehra chun lijie.. mein vo hoon..

I'm the…..STUPID SOFTWARE ENGINEER....