The Husband Store :-)

The Husband Store.... A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where any woman may go to choose a husband.  Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!!! You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the Building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband… On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the  housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Windows or Apple

Customer: "I installed Windows 98 on my computer, and it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Ok, what happens when you turn on your computer?"
Customer: "Boy, are you listening? I said it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Well, what happens when you TRY to turn it on?"
Customer: "Look, I'm not a computer person. Talk regular English, not this computer talk, ok?"
Tech Support: "Ok, let's assume your computer is turned off, and you just sat down in front of it, and want to use it. What do you do?"
Customer: "Don't talk like I'm stupid, boy. I turn it on."
Tech Support: "And then what happens?"
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "Does anything appear on your monitor? I mean, the TV part."
Customer: "The same thing I saw last time I tried."
Tech Support: "And that is what?"
Customer: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
Tech Support: "Yes, sir. What is on your screen?"Customer: "A bunch of little pictures."
Tech Support: "Ok, in the upper left corner, do you see 'My Computer'."
Customer: "No, all I see is that littlered circle thing with the chunk out of it."
Tech Support: "You mean an apple?"
Customer: "I guess it kind of looks like an apple."

You can Try again!!

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant.

Scared??..She confides this ' news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did
This to you?

I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an
hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And
distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very
expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl,
and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the
Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family
Situation, but I'll take responsibility.

If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a
beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a
$2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.

However, If there is a miscarriage or unsuccessful delivery , what do
you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand
firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him...

"You can try again!!!"

A Sweet Story!

Girl to Boy   :        Why do you keep following me ? 
Boy              :        Bcoz you are so pretty and I am falling in love with you. 
Girl              :        Really ? but you haven't met my friend yet, she is prettier than me, 
                   and she is just right behind you (the guy looked behind him but found no one), 
Boy              :        Are u making fun of me, there is no one behind me. 
Girl              :        I know she replied, but if you really love me, you won't look back.