Husband Are Always Same...

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'  So he tied her up and went golfing.

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A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'

The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out of my house.'

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

PJ's :-(

Hellloooo kya aplog thodasa apna dimag lagainge ? 
1)Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ?? why ??







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Because, Tendulkar is an opener.


2)Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
Socho socho
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aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

3)What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??

Socho...............Socho
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Hindustan Lever (Leaver).

4)Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam
Kya tha................................... .
Socho yar ....its very easy
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Answer: adidas

5)Luv and Kush were going to a village & in between
comes a well. Luv fells into the well. Why ?
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Because Luv is blind!!!!!

6)Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
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OK lot's of head scratching done.
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Answer is... Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
Want one more...

7) Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?..
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nahi pata..??
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Answer: D'Cold
"chain ki saans - D'cold"




8)Ek aur.....
Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol
chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon??

arey yeh to batao ...
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think harder...
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Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha,
ha..kitna asan tha ....kya yaar...tum bi na


9)Ek aur muaka dete hain tumhe .....
kamal,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the..
bus aai vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata
hai why???
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Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!

aur chhaiye kya?
...theek hai
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yeh lo...

10)Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus stop pe khade
the...bus aai aur Kadar Khan chad jata hai per Shakti
Kapoor nahin jata
Qyo???
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Qyonkieeeeeee ....
Shakti Kapoor dus ri bus ka wait Kar raha tha.............

How ppl give explanations...

How people give explanations! !!!!!!!

Suddenly one of the employees in an organization took
10 days Leave Without any notice.

When he returned his PL asked for explanation.
The employee said "Sir, my mom died unexpectedly" .

The PL let it go at That.
After 3 months the same pattern repeated,
and this time the said his Father died.
Then the PL got changed.

After 3 months the same pattern Repeated.
And the employee gave the explanation that his mom died.
After 3 months same thing again...
And this time his father died.

This Happened repeatedly for 2 years.
At the end, one PL checked his past
Records and told him, "I have caught you red handed,
How come in the Past 2 years,
your mom has died 5 times,
and your dad has died five Times?"

NOW GUESS THE ANSWER...

To which the guy said,
"Sir, my mom died and my father remarried.
Then my father died and my new mom remarried.
Then my mom died and the new Father remarried.
This has been going on and on and on and..."

ha ha ha .....

Good Jokes......

Girl to another: Kal sapne me mujhe koi chakku se mar raha tha.
2nd Girl: Tu dar mat agar sapne sach hote to mujhe roj ABBORTION karana
padta...

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• If your boss says: Nothing is impossible, ask him to wear a condom after
sex.

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• Fact of life: When a girl attains maturity, she wants to wear a bra...
When a boy attains maturity, he wants to remove that bra.....

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• Teacher: Jimmedari kya hoti hai ?
Student: Madam agar apke blouse k 4 batton me se 3 tut jaye to 4th pe jo
aati hai, usko jimmedari kehte hai.

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• Luv is not measured by Hugging, Kissing & sex. It's all about Trusting
Respecting & Accepting a person with open legs, closed eyes & wet lips
saying Push it more.

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• Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why ?
Dr: The compounder will not be here...

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• Mother found a condom in daughter's cupboard. She went straight to her n
asked: What is this?
Girl: To aap kya chahti hain, main is umar mein Maa ban jaaun?!

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• Playboy has started a special edition for Married men. The same woman is
featured every month.

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• Sex is evil
Evil is sin
Sin is forgiven
So let's begin.
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• Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREAST?
Girl: Enough to help a Man's boneless thing stand up.

Jokes

Teacher: Why are you late?
Little Johny: Because of the sign.
Teacher: Which sign?
Little Johny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


Teacher: Johny, why are you doing your Math sums on the floor?
Little Johny: You told me to do it without using tables!


Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile?"
Little Johny: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
Little Johny: May be it is wrong, but you asked me how do I spell it!


Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Little Johny: HIJKLMNO
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Little Johny: Yesterday, you said it is H to O!


Teacher: George, find North America on the map.
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?
Little Johny: George!


Teacher: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't had ten years ago.
Little Johny: Me!


Teacher: Johny, why do you always get so dirty?
Little Johny: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


Little Johny: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Little Johny: Your name on this report card.


Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Little Johny: Don't bite any.


Teacher: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I."
Little Johny: I is...
Teacher: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."
Little Johny: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.


Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Little Johny: Brotherly love.


Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly, do you pray before eating?
Little Johny: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.


Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his composition?
Little Johny: No Teacher, it is the same dog!


Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Little Johny: A Teacher.

Little Johnny's unusual Event

The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and read his essay.

It began, Daddy fell into the well last week

Teachet and student

My goodness! the teacher exclaimed. Is he all right?

He must be, said the boy. He stopped yelling for help from yesterday.

Little Johny & April

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.