Jokes On Satyam Fraud

Ever since the news of the Satyam fraud hit the headlines, jokes on B Ramalinga Raju and Satyam have been doing rounds on the internet and as text messages. Here are some of the best, Please don't take anything serious, its just a collection of few jokes I got from net:

Raju Raju

Yes Papa

Cheating us?

No Papa

Telling lies?

No Papa

Open your balance sheet

Ha Ha Ha

*****

S - Stealing

A - And

T - Transferring

Y - Your

A - All

M - Money

*****

New scene from Sholay

Jai: Mausi, ladka Satyam mein kaam karta hain

Mausi: Hai Ram! Aur kahin try kar raha hai kya?

Jai: Kahan Mausi, do saal Satyam me rahne ke baad koi company leti kahan hain

Mausi: Hai Ram to kya do saal se Satyam mein hi hain?

Jai: Haan socha tha do saal me salary hike hogi hi. Aajkal to salary bhi jyada nahin mil rahi hain use

Mausi: To kya salary bhi kam milti hain?

Jai: Ab appraisal bhi to asaani se kahaan hota hain Mausi

Mausi: Hai hai! To kya appraisal bhi nahi hota uska?

Jai: Senior se ladhai karne ke baad appraisal mein achhi rating to nahin milti hain na Mausi

Mausi: To kya seniors se ladhta bhi hain?

Jai: Ab do saal tak onsite jaane ko na mile to ho jaati hain kabhi kabhi anban

Mausi: To kya ab tak ek baar bhi onsite nahin gaya?

Jai: Ab outdated technology ke developer ki kismat mein to yehi likha hain Mausi

Mausi: Kya kaha! Ladka outdated technology mein kaam karata hai?

Mausi: Kaunse college se padhai ki hain?

Jai: Uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar de denge!

Jai: To main yeh rishta pakka samjhu Mausi?

Mausi: Beta, kan khol kar sun lo! Sagi mausi hoon Basanti ki, koi sauteli maa nahi! Bhale hi hamaari Basanti call center wale Chandu se shaadi kar le, par Satyam ke employee se katai nahin karegi

*****

November: Ram Gopal Verma was sighted inside Taj Hotel, Mumbai

January: Ram Gopal Verma was sighted in Satyam Computers Hyderabad

*****

All Raju named chai-wallahs around BSE will be banned soon

*****

Masterji: Raju tumhare daant toh motiyon se chamak rahe hain?

Raju: Chamke kyu na Masterji? Maine apni hi company ka paisa jo khaaya hain

*****

Raju Raju sat on the wall

Raju Raju had a great fall

Balance sheet died

Shareholders cried

Raju Raju made a fraud

*****

Raju's new movie – Satyam Shivam Scandalam

Sequel to Satyam Shivam Scandalam - Raju ban gaya Gentleman

*****

Raju Da Dhaba

Our specialty

- Chicken Liability Makhani

- Chicken Understated Tangadi

- Fantasy Samosa Receivables

- Hyderabadi Continental Segregated Biryani

- Debt Pakoda

- Inflated Omelets

- Overstated Butter Naan

*****

Raj Raju Ramalinga

Tara ram pam pam

Paison ne bulwaya

Hazir hun mein aya

Hun scammers ka scam

Akal ka dushman

*****

Satyamisation

1. Inflating profits

2. Finding it tough to get a job because of bad reputation of employers (and quitting)

Examples

- I am filing a law suit against my employer. Working under him has caused me distress, depression and left me Satyamised

- (On a resume or in an interview) Reason for leaving the job: I have been Satyamised (not laid off)

Husband to the judge: "Your Honour, I want to divorce my wife. Her love for me was Satyamised

Wife: "So was his manhood"

*****

Maybe Satyam could rescue Citi Group

*****

American bankrupt companies are now not the only ones responsible for recession

*****

The name SATYAM means TRUTH; if this is the truth, God bless

*****

What Raju has done was creating money out of thin air; that's the latest invention at Satyam!

*****

'Satyam' is a one-word oxymoron

*****

Cartoon on a website:

Satyam Computers chief Ramalinga Raju confessed that he cooked books to show more profits. Soon we'll see more demand for cooks in the corporate world!

*****

A recently created website NailTheThief.com has put up a game with the objective, "Hit Ramalinga Raju in the face with rotten eggs."

*****

A comment on a blog post on Satyam humour reads, "We have Satyam cartoons, Satyam nursery rhymes... soon we'll have Satyam soap bars to miraculously hide (not clean) your dirt."

Cutesy - www.nogyan.com