Jokes....

Math Class

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing mathproblems when his teacher picked him to answer a question..

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting ona fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?"

"None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the restwould fly away."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher."But I like the way you are thinking."

Little Johnny said, "I have a question foryou now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, onelicking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one suckingher cone, which one is married?

Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guessthe one sucking the cone?

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with thewedding ring on her finger.But

I like the way you are thinking..

******************************

 

Red and Shiny

The teacher, in an attempt to stimulate theirminds, asked the class the following question, " What is bright red andshiny?"

Little Johnny jumped up and shouted, " A fire engine !!!!???"

"No! No!" said the teacher," But I like the way you think.. Anyoneelse?"

Little Susan replied that it was an apple and the teacher was happy except

Johnny of course..

Anyway, Little Johnny asked the teacher if he can ask a question to which

she nodded OK.

" What is long,hard, rounded and has hair atone end? "

"JOHNNY!!!" she screamed, "WE'LL HAVE NONE OFTHAT TALK HERE..."

Johnny replied, " No, it's a toothbrush, butI like the way youthink"..

 

*******************************************************

 

A priest is out for an afternoon stroll and turns the corner and finds little Johnny with a hammer smashing the daylights out of

a bunch of ants. The kid is saying to himself, "I hate these fucking ants...I hate these fucking ants."

The priest is taken back by the little boy's language and talks to him, saying that God doesn't make junk.

"Tomorrow I will be coming by again and if you can tell me three things that God created that are worthless, then I will let you

continue killing the ants."

The next afternoon, the priest is out again for his walk and comes upon little Johnny smashing ants again. The priest reminds him of the agreement

that they made saying the boy agreed not to kill any more ants unless he could name three things that God created that are worthless.

Little Johnny looks up with a devilish smile and says, "I do know three things that are totally worthless. The first is a prick on a priest, the

second is tits on a nun, and the third are these fucking ants!"............