The Husband Store :-)

The Husband Store.... A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where any woman may go to choose a husband.  Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!!! You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the Building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband… On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the  housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Windows or Apple

Customer: "I installed Windows 98 on my computer, and it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Ok, what happens when you turn on your computer?"
Customer: "Boy, are you listening? I said it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Well, what happens when you TRY to turn it on?"
Customer: "Look, I'm not a computer person. Talk regular English, not this computer talk, ok?"
Tech Support: "Ok, let's assume your computer is turned off, and you just sat down in front of it, and want to use it. What do you do?"
Customer: "Don't talk like I'm stupid, boy. I turn it on."
Tech Support: "And then what happens?"
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "Does anything appear on your monitor? I mean, the TV part."
Customer: "The same thing I saw last time I tried."
Tech Support: "And that is what?"
Customer: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
Tech Support: "Yes, sir. What is on your screen?"Customer: "A bunch of little pictures."
Tech Support: "Ok, in the upper left corner, do you see 'My Computer'."
Customer: "No, all I see is that littlered circle thing with the chunk out of it."
Tech Support: "You mean an apple?"
Customer: "I guess it kind of looks like an apple."

You can Try again!!

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant.

Scared??..She confides this ' news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did
This to you?

I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an
hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And
distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very
expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl,
and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the
Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family
Situation, but I'll take responsibility.

If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a
beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a
$2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.

However, If there is a miscarriage or unsuccessful delivery , what do
you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand
firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him...

"You can try again!!!"

A Sweet Story!

Girl to Boy   :        Why do you keep following me ? 
Boy              :        Bcoz you are so pretty and I am falling in love with you. 
Girl              :        Really ? but you haven't met my friend yet, she is prettier than me, 
                   and she is just right behind you (the guy looked behind him but found no one), 
Boy              :        Are u making fun of me, there is no one behind me. 
Girl              :        I know she replied, but if you really love me, you won't look back. 

Some more Sardars...

Interviewer: 

what is your birth date? 

Sardar: 13th October 

Which year? 

Sardar: Oye bewakoof _ _ _ EVERY YEAR 

Manager asked sardar at an interview. 

Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? 

Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X. 

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, 

Do I look like a foreigner? 

Wife: No! Why? 

Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner? 

One tourist from U.S.A. asked Sardar: 

Any great man born in this village??? 

Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!! 

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi 

So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi. 

When sardar was traveling 

with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted the mirror. Sardar shouted, 

"You are trying to see my wife? Sit behind. I will drive. 

Interviewer: just imagine you are on the 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape? 

Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!! 

Sardar: My mobile bill how much? 

Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status 

Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL. 

  

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf.. 

Friend: How do u know? 

Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new 

  

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife! 

Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!! 

  

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world? 

Sardar: ZEBRA 

Teacher: How? 

Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White 

  

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company. 

Manager: Do U know MS Office? 

Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir. 

  

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay ... While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay " 

Air hostess said: "B silent." 

Sardar: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay" 

  

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?" 

Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!! 

  

Sardar: Miss, Do u called 2 my 

mobile? 

Teacher: Me? No, why? 

Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call". (Had never thought of it) 

  

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple? 

Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE 

  

A perfect Caring Wife...

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his
checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease,
combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your
husband will surely die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be
pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a
nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an
especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with
chores, as this could further his stress.

Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress
worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie
and giving him plenty of backrubs. Encourage him to watch some type of
team sporting event on television. And most importantly, make love
with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If
you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband
will regain his health.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied. 

Definition of Globalization

A definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate:

Question:
What is the truest definition  of Globalization?

Answer:
Princess Diana's death.

Question:
How come?

Answer :
An English princess
with an
Egyptian boyfriend
crashes
in a French tunnel,
riding in a  German car
with a
Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian
who was drunk on
Scottish whisky,
(check the bottle before you
change the spelling),
followed
closely by
Italian Paparazzi,
on
Japanese motorcycles,
treated
by an American doctor,
using
Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by
a Canadian,
using
American Bill Gates' technology,
and
you're probably reading
this on your computer,
that
uses Taiwanese chips,
and
a Korean monitor,
assembled by
Bangladeshi
workers
in a
Singapore plant,
transported
by Indian
truck drivers,
hijacked
by Indonesians,
unloaded by
Sicilian longshoremen,
and
trucked to you by Mexican illegals..... .


That,my friends,is
 Globalization !