Husband and Wife

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Every time!

Wife: No darling, it means,

With Idiot For Ever

************ 

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.

************ 

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping

Pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you

************ 

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.

************ 

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents

************ 

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?

Husband: A lovely Push...!!!

************ 

Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again

************ 

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

You know, I was a fool when I married you.

The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice