Joke: Why Newton committed suicide

Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide…..

Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

Here are a few scenes

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!

2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!

The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton commits suicide…

Joke: Love vs Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac.

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!"

NICE QUOTES FOR WOMEN ::::

"A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water."    (Nancy Reagan)

 

 

"men want their women to be their first love ......but women are more SUBTLE.....they want their men to be their last love.............."

 

(amazing but true...........)                                                                                         (Anonymous)

 

 

"Whether women are better than men I cannot say- but I can say they are certainly no worse."       (Golda Meir)

 

 

"I hate women because they always know where things are."     (James Thurber)

 

 

"Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it"                (Anonymous)

 

 

"What passes for woman's intuition is often nothing more than man's transparency.     (George Jean Nathan)

 

 

"They talk about a woman's sphere, as though it had a limit. There's not a place in earth or heaven. There's not a task to mankind given...

 

without a woman in it. "                                                                                   (Anonymous)

                                                                                                                  

 

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."                (Aristotle Onassis)

 

 

"Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less."              (Susan B. Anthony)

 

 

FW: Marriage Quotes !

 

 

Regards,

Shuchita Aggarwal

Software Engineer- Test

43, Electronic City, Phase -II

Hosur road,

Bangalore - 560100, India

Direct:   +91 80 40375416

Board:    +91 80 40375300

Fax:       +91 80 40375303

Urgent:  +91 9342456943

Email: saggarwal@velankani.com

URL: www.velankani.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

www.mayursha.com | y: mayursha | 9819602175

 

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*Computer programmer's shayri*

Subject: *Computer programmer's shayri*
1)
Kal jab mile thhe....
to dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehte hain...
your file not found! *

2)
Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga...

3)
Shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye...

4)
Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to double-click karo...

5)
Roz subha hum karte hain
py! ar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekti hain
jaise 0 errors aur 5 warning...

6)
Aisa bhi nahin hai ke
I don't like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
No more disk space.

7)
Ghar se jab tum nikale
pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya Server down





--
Keep Smiling...

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Wife is wife

A Wife is a wife, no Matter who THE HELL you are!!

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