Fwd: NYC Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City ,
where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at
the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit
the store ONLY ONCE !

 

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as
the shopper ascends the flights. There is however, a catch.... you may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

 

 

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

 

 

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

 

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

 

 

 

 

The second floor sign reads:

 

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

 

 

 

 

The third floor sign reads:

 

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord,love kids, and are
extremely good looking.

 

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

 

 

 

 

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

 

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are
drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

 

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still,

 

 

 

she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

 

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord,love kids, are
drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong
romantic streak.

 

 

 

 

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and
the sign reads:

 

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no
men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please.

 

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as
you exit the building, and have a nice day!

 

 

Re: 1 million photo's completed in PICSQUARE

PICSQUARE HITS "MILLION PHOTOS" MARK AND 50,000 USERS

Many More to Go!!! 

Bangalore, October 25, 2007, Picsquare.com (www.picsquare.com), a company bootstrapped as an initiative by two young and enthusiastic professionals, is celebrating the achievement of 1 million photographs uploaded and having 50,000 registered users. "We are overjoyed with the achievement however, there is a lot to accomplish as there is no limit to the endeavor of serving our clients in the best possible manner", says Manish Agrawal one of the founder members of the company.  

Picsquare.com initially conceived to serve the overseas and NRI clients, allowing them to send photo prints to their friends and family in India, has an equal number of users in India as well. Since its formation this small initiative has grown manifolds in terms of the variety of services offered to the users.  

Anyone who subscribes to Picsquare can expect to experience unlimited free storage, 10 free print trials, free album on order of 30 or more prints, Flickr/ Picasa integration and image enhancement for all photo gifts and lot more. These are only a few of the many services that Picsquare is offering.  

Picsquare started as an online photo printing company, is now offering a range of personalized services to its valued customers. Users can create personalized photo gifts on a number of mediums such as mugs, mouse pads, t-shirts, collage posters, calendars and others. "We have not only tried to take away the monotony and hassles of printing the photographs. Creating and sending exciting gifts is just a click away when it's done through Picsquare" says Kartik Jain, another founder of the company.   

Picsquare also provides trouble free shipment services across India at a minimal cost. "Fantastic! Though a computer techie myself, I've always loved the feel of a photo on print than on Computers. Thanks to Picsquare, I can now easily print all my digital pictures at a small cost! Inexpensive, fast, good quality, reliable service. Highly Recommended!" says Kaushik Rajgopalan, one of the many happy customers of Picsquare.  

Picsquare is the first company to be selected and received investment under TiE-EAP program – a TiE Bangalore initiative. The company is now looking for next round of investment in the range of Rs 20-40 lakhs. The company has plans to try certain new marketing and product initiatives and thereby creating a unique position for Picsquare in Indian photo space. "We plan to use this investment to accelerate the growth by adding new features and provide more options of our users", says Manish. 

So next time you think of gifting your beloved ones with something they could cherish for a lifetime you know Picsquare.com is a one stop shop for all your heart desires.

For media enquires and further details on this press release contact: 

Manish Agrawal

manish@picsquare.com

+91 99019 60007

www.picsquare.com

Excellent story by a Satyam Employee... For all Software Engineers

Award Winning Story........

Toooooo goood……….
 
There was a contest in SATYAM to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line"On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station"
 
This is what a guy wrote for the contest........ And surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story :)
 
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprisedto see the phrase"appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"...  As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
 
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders.
 
My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".
 

B4 and After marriage

• Before Marriage - - -

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

Girl: Do you want me to leave?

Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Of course! Over and over!

Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?

Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?

Girl: Will you kiss me?

Boy: Every chance I get!

Girl: Will you hit me?

Boy: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

Girl: Can I trust you?

Boy: Yes.

Girl: Darling!

After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top

Boys will be Boys….

Boys will be Boys….


Boy : Suit bada acchha pehna hai

Girl : Thanx

Boy : lipstik bahut acchhi lagai hai

Girl : Thanx

Boy : make up bhi bahut acchha kia hai

Girl : Thanx "bhaiya "

Boy : fir bhi sundar nahi lag rahi ho !!!!!

Re: Picsquare - A Indian Photo sharing Website

I would like to inform you about a new feature at Picsquare (www.picsquare.com).

As we are aware that Yahoo Photos is closing for Indian users on October 18, 2007. Yahoo is allowing its users to migrate photos to Flickr which is undoubtedly a great photo sharing site. However, there are limitation like limited storage space for free account and Indian users can use Flickr only for sharing photographs.

To allow users to do more with their photographs we are providing them an option of importing their Yahoo photo to Picsquare.

- Picsquare provides unlimited free storage space.
- Not only share photographs but also order photo prints online and get the prints delivered anywhere in India.
- Create various products like mug, t-shirt, calendar, poster using photographs

I hope that you will find this information useful. I strongly believe that a good number of Yahoo users in India would benefit from this feature at Picsquare.

27th Alphabet

Which one is 27th alphabet?????????



























































































































R u looking for answer???????????

very good????????????

which school???????????

Catch a Loin...

How to Catch a LION

Newton 's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.

Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.

Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

Manirathnam Method (director ):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark
room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

ISHQ.........

Aashiqon Ko Ishq Mein PERFECT Hona Chahiye,
Ishq Bhi Eik Laazmi SUBJECT Hona Chahiye.

Larka Jo Ishq Mein Nakaam Ho Agar,
Usey To Class Se REJECT Hona Chahiye.

Aur Jise Ishq Karna Hee Naa Aaye,
Usey Phir Ishq Ka Teeka INJECT Hona Chahiye.

Larkiyon Ko Hum Per Reham Karna Chahiye,
Unhein Bhi Hamari Taraf ATTRACT Hona Chahiye.

Aashiqon Ke Bhi Kuch Asool Hain Janaab,
Jinhein Laagooo Karne Ko Ik ACT Hona Chahiye.

Aashiqon Ko Ishq Mein PERFECT Hona Chahiye,
Aisa Ishq Karen Ke Larki Per EFFECT Hona Chahiye.

Aashiqon Ko Ishq Mein PERFECT Hona Chahiye,
Ishq Bhi Eik Laazmi SUBJECT Hona Chahiye


--
Keep Smiling...
__._,_.__

Marketing...

Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"
Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!!

Fishy ;-)

Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner...who lives with a girl
roommate Sunita.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how
pretty Kumar's, roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a
relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than
met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar.

You don't suppose she took it, do you? "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email
her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my
house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar. But the
fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for
dinner.
Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother - which read
:

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that
you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was
sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now.
Love, Mom.

upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the performance of flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Desperate

***************************

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files.

DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new application quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

Funny SMS

Definition of "wife": Someone who'll stand by you through all the troubles
which you wouldn't have had if you had stayed single... :-)


Wat a married man says after years of marriage:-
My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding,
she doesn't Trust me & I dont Understand her.

dean - anybody caught going 2 ladies hostel will be fined rs.400 1st time,
700 2nd time & 1000 3rd time. student - how much 4 a season pass?

Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha, Har Meenar Ko Dekha,
Har Kaleen Ko Dekha, Har Khidki Se Dekha... Aur Bola...
Maa Kasam, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!


1 - message - received - 1 - cute - person - sent - it - 1 - monkey - is - reading - it -
1 - monkey - is - angry - 1 - monkey - is - still - reading -
1 - monkey - wil 4ward - dis - msg - to - anodr - monkey !


Unlike others your brain is a master piece, It is divided in 2 parts - left & right. In
left nothing is right, in right nothing is left.


why do monkeys love banana.... -
oops i am so sorry ........ - thats your personal matter!


I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u".
Hey! Don't get excited, I love other alphabets too...v, w, x, y, z !


I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You.
That's because Meneka Gandhi says "Love Animals" !

VERY ... Cute, Gorgeous, Genius, Good-looking, Intelligent, One in Trillions..
I think its enough abt ME, wht abut U....


The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?

to live a life v need brains,reflexes,luck,iq,knowledge,expression,perce ption,
n mental qualification.....hats off to u,for managing without them!!!


Intelligent Man + Intelligent Woman = Romance.
Intelligent Man + Stupid Woman = Pregnancy.
Stupid Man + Intelligent Woman = Affair.
Stupid Man + Stupid Woman = Marriage !


Dhirubhai from heaven : "Beta Mukesh kaisa chal raha hai apna reliance".
Mukesh: "Hello kon bol raha hai? thik se sunai nahi deta. call me on my HUTCH mobile!"


Ikhtiyarre tabbasum ki lau ko tarranume numayish se aghaa dena...
Jo iska matlab samajh aaye to please mujhe bhi bata dena.....


Sincere Apology : If u dont like any of my SMS n dont like 2 read,
then plz dont hesitate, feel free to..... Throw ur mobile.


What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money,
multiplication of enemies & division of friends


doc chopra Psychotherapist wanted the name board to be painted infront of his clinic ,
but our sardar painted " Dr chopra Psycho the rapist ".


When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you....
Why should only i suffer!!!

Aisi dosti hamari ki tu har rah,har dagar,har safar mein mile.
Mar bhi jaun agar,tab bhi dosti ki khatir,tu bagal wali kabar mein mile

._,_.__

राम गोपाल वर्मा की आग

Is hell exothermic or endothermic?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Here is the "Bonus Question" on the exam:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.   So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1.. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2.. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa (a girlfriend of mine during my Freshman year) that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is Exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

Software Professional's Love Letter

Dear Ms. Baby,
I saw you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realised that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time, I've been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now. My life is just an uncompiled program without you that never produces an executable code and hence is useless.

You not only have a beautiful face, but all your Activex controls are attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful that it ncourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power. When you looked at me last evening, I felt all my program modules running smoothly and giving expected results, which I have never experienced before.

With this letter, I just want to convey that, if we linked together, I'll provide you with all the objects and libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life. Also don't bother about the firewall, which may be created by our parents as I've strong hacking capabilities by which I'll ultimately break their security passwords and make them accept our marriage.

I anticipate that nobody is already logged into your database so that my connect script would fail. And it's all certain that if this happened to me, I will crash my system beyond recovery. Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox.

Only yours,
Software Professional.

Some hidden meanings in the funny dictionary

Some hidden meanings in the funny dictionary

Smile - A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Rumor - News that travels at the speed of sound.

Dictionary- The only place where divorce comes before marriage.

College - A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

Ecstasy - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Office - A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.

Yawn - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc. - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee - Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Classic - A book which people praise, but do not read.

Marriage - It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master's.
Worry - Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Experience- The name men give to their mistakes.

Tears - The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
Atom Bomb - An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher-A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Optimist - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Pessimist - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
Miser - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father - A banker provided by nature.

Criminal - A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.

Boss - Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician- One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor - A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

read kar liya.....abhi hanso...


--
Keep Smiling...
__._,_.__

Dr Santa Singh...

Have you heard of Mr. Santa Singh applying to a medical school to
become a doctor?

Needless to say he never made it. You know why?

These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.

Antibody - against everyone

Artery - The study of the paintings.
Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.
Caesarean section - a district in Rome.
Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.
Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.
Chronic - neck of a crow.
Coma - punctuation mark.
Cortisone - area around local court.
Cyst - short for sister.
Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.
Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.
Dislocation - in this place.
Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.
Enema - not a friend.
Fake labour - pretending to work.
Genes - blue denim.
Hernia - she is close by.
Impotent - distinguished/well known.
Labour pain - hurt at work.
Lactose - people without toes.
Lymph - walk unsteadily.
Microbes - small dressing gown.
Obesity - city of Obe.
Pacemaker - winner of Nobel peace prize.
Proteins - in favor of teens.
Pulse - grain.
Pus - small cat.
Red blood count - Dracula.
Secretion - hiding anything.
Tablet - small table.
Ultrasound - radical noise.

Jokes

Hathi Weds Macharni!
Ek baar ek Hathi (male) aur ek Machhar (female) mein pyaar ho jata hai.

Dono ka affair bahut dino tak chalta hai. Sab log bate karne lagte hain.
Akhir sharmakar, machhar hathi se bolti hain "Abhi apun dono ko shaadi kar leni chahiye
...duniya wale bahut bate karne lage hain...mera jeena mushkil ho gaya hain."
Abhi dono ko bhagkar shaadi karni hai...isliye dono Marriage Registrar ke yahan application

dete hain aur ek mahine baad registered marriage karte hain...Abhi dono honeymoon ka plan

karte hain...
Dono Kerala jate hai (with Kesari Tours)...Honeymoon hone ke baad jab durse din subah hathi

ki aakh khulti hain to dektha hain ki bechari machhar mar gayi hain...
yes...she is dead...;-)
Now the question for you is "Kyon?"
.
.
.
.
Guess...
.
.
.
.
.Stress your brain, you naughty...
.
.
.
.
Because, hathi raat ko "Good KNight" laga ke sota hain.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha... What else were you thinking?
-------------------------------
Driving Styles!
One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window. - Sydney
One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn - Japan
One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator... - Boston
Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror - New York
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in
back seat - Italy
One hand on horn,
one hand greeting,
one ear on cell phone,
one ear listening to loud music,
foot on accelerator,
eyes on female pedestrians,
conversation with someone in next car - Welcome to India!

Me and My Boss....

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough

When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,

When I do something without being told,
I am trying to
be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,

When I make a mistake,
you're an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.

When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.

When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an
interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's
overworked

When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

Great Details of companies...

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees

Happy Independence Day

                             JAI H
              JAI HIN JA
               JAI HIND JAI HI
                 JAI HIND JAI H
               JAI HIND JAI HI
                JAI HIND JAI
                JAI HIND JAI
                  JAI HIND JAI
                  JAI HIND
                  JAI HIND J
                 JAI HIND JAI H
               JAI HIND JAI HIN
              JAI HIND JAI HIN                                  JAI H
            JAI HIND JAI HIND J                               JAI HIND J
           JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI H                 J         JAI HIND J
      JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI              JA     JAI HIND JAI
     JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND J        JA      JAI HIND
      JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIN
       JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND J JAI HIND JAI
        JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND  JAI HIND JAI
 JAI HI JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIN        JAI HI
JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND      JAI H
    JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI        JAI
   JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIN        J
    JAI HI JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI
     JAI H JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND J
            JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND
           JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND
            JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI
            JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI
            JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND J
            JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIND
            JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HIN
             JAI HIND JAI HIND JAI HI
              JAI HIND JAI HIND JA
              JAI HIND JAI HIND J
               JAI HIND JAI HIN
                JAI HIND JAI HIN
                JAI HIND JAI HI
                 JAI HIND JAI H
                  JAI HIND JAI
                  JAI HIND JAI
                  JAI HIND JAI
                    JAI HIND
                    JAI HIN
                     JAI HI
                      JAI H
                       JAI

Good ones....

Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman .you have only 2 eyes but you sight every woman.
Now who is Ravan????

Scientists are trying to figure out how long a person can live without
brain..
Please tell them your age!!

Dad to son: when I beat you how do you control your anger?
Son: I start cleaning toilet
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush.

Munna bhai: agar bina daton ka kuta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: simple, bina sui ke injection lena chahiye.

Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai
Kanjoos: 10 rupaye dunga , pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.

Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 maale se gir gaya tha
Banta: toh fir bach gaya ya mar gaya ?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.

Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai...ghar ke sab khilone chhupa do
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pehchan lega.

In aptitude test...River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state (brilliant ans).

INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room , how can you escape if it caught fire?
Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.

Sardar starts shouting in a store.. where is my free gift with this
oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this
Sardar: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE.

Sardar 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha
Baap ne puchha "kya kar rahe ho?"
Sardar : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

Sardar: in my dreams rats play football evry night
DR: take this tablet you will be ok
Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final match.

PJ

Mere dil ko tab bahat jhatka laga jab maine ek ladke(boy) ko mandir(tample) mai CIGRATTE peete dekha..

GHOR KALYUG

You can't believe, mere hath se WHISKY ki bottel gir gayi..


------------------------------

--

ADMI NAAI SE: MERI TERE NAAM WALI CUTTING KAR DO.
NAAI USKI TAKLA KAR DETA HAI
ADMI GHUSSAY SE: YE KYA KIYA HAI ???
NAAI: MAIN KYA KAROON MAIN NE DEKHI HI END SE HAI.

---------------------------
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her *husband*!"
--------------------------------------
police ki naukari k liye interview liya jaa raha tha ...aur apna bihaari lal bhi jaa pahunche....
officer ne bihaari se poocha...."agar bina laathi ya goli chalaaye bheed ko thithar bhithar karne ko kahaa jaaye tho tum kya karoge"
bihaari lal phat se jawaab diya..."jee mai jholi failaa kar chanda maangne lagoonga..."
---------------------------

Raat ka time jab Munna aur chinkie apnay bed room mien so rahay thay to phone ki ghanti baji.

Voice: Aray Doctor sahab jaldi aayeay! Meray betay nay blade kha liya hai

Munna abhi jaanay k liye tayyar hi hota k dobara phone aata hai.

Voice: Doctor Sahab! Ab aanay ki koi zaroorat nahi, meray husband ko shave k liye doosra blade mil gaya hai.

------------------------

One day RAVAN went to disco... aur woh behosh ho gaya, due to shock.....!

why.....??







" Coz the entry fee was Rs. 1500 per HEAD...!!!

Hasna Mana Hai

1.
Sonu:mere papa  jisko chahe maar sakte hai jisko chahe
chor sakte hai
billu:kyun tere paapa bahut takatwar hai kya?
Sonu:nahi woh blue line bus mei driver hai

2.
Sunny(waiter se):aray ismei murge ki taang toh hai hi nahi
waiter:murga langa tha sir
Sunny:Lekin iska toh dimag bhi nahi aaya
waiter:uska dimag nahi tha sir
Sunny:lekin iska Dil kahan gaya
Waiter:Sorry sir woh toh murgi le gayi
3.
Husband or wife mei ladai ho gayi
raat ko 12 baze pati ne patni ko phone kiya or poocha
aaj khane mei kya banaya hai?
Patni boli zehar banaya hai
Pati bola mei aaj aane mei late ho jaaonga tum kha kar so jao

HUMOROUS DEFINATIONS

# Father- A banker provided by nature.
# Boss- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
# Rumour- News that travels at the speed of sound.
#Dictionary- The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
#Office- A place where you can relax after strenuous home life.
#Etc. - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
# Marriage- It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gains her master's.
# Worry- Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
# Atom bomb- An invention to end all inventions.
# Optimist- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
# Pessimist- A person who says that O is the last letter of ZERO instead of the first letter of OPPURTUNITY.
# Miser- A person who lives in poor so that he can die rich.
# Politician- One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later.

 

Tester & Developer

 

Bug logging in Myuhc project.  – For Fun only

How Roshan D'Mello (QA Tester) frustrates developer (Mukesh Thakur)

 

Roshan D'Mello: Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in user name text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn't appear.

Mukesh Thakur: How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it fixed.

 

After 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur: Roshan, bug is fixed. Please verify.

 

After another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello:  I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry is not getting the sound.

 

After another 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur: Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry's machine, please use head phones and then get the bug closed soon.

 

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello:  I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is different across different machines. Sound is coming as 'BEEP' in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound as 'TONG'.

Mukesh Thakur: Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do you expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them uniform? Please close it.

 

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello:  I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend's machine produces sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all machines.

 

Another 2 days later,

Mukesh Thakur:   Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both the machines before I get mad and then close the bug.

 

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello:  I have re-opened the bug.

Mukesh Thakur:   What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for re-opening?

Roshan D'Mello:  Sound intensity is different for machines placed at different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.

 

After 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur: I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of the two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the bugs.

 

After 1 year

Roshan D'Mello:  I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested the clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.

Mukesh Thakur: GROWLLLL…..I am really mad now. I am sure that the sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because of background noice.

Roshan D'Mello:   No need for that. We will put the machines and run them in vacuum and see.

Mukesh Thakur: (not alive)

 

--
Keep Smiling...
__._,_.__

Santa -- Banta

    Just For   Smiles...!!  
Santa :   I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"
Banta :  Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE!  

     

Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghu Ayaa..
Daku  : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao..!
Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai Malko, Jithe Marzi So Jao!

     

     

Banta :  Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.
Santa :  Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya..?  
     

Santa meets his friend Bunta
Santa :    A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!
Bunta :    Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa :   Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!
       

Santa :   Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.
Banta :   Kyoo Ji ?
Santa :    Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.

     

Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Santa     :   Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.  
Jasmeet :   Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa     :   Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke...  
Jasmeet :    Phone Mere Liye Tha!

     

Santa  : Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.

     
 

     

Santa :   Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.
Banta :    Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.

     

Banta :  Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon, Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.
Santa :  Kaise?
Banta :   Maine Kaha I Luv U, To Woh Boli 'Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'

     

-

gud morningggggggggggggg Jokes

Call an unknown phone no - Ramesh hai kya?
She will say " No wrong number".

Again call after five min "Ramesh hai kya"
She will be reasonably annoyed "no this is wrong number".

Again call "Ramesh aa gaya kya"?
She will say "apka dimag kharab hai kya? kyon piche pade ho?

Again call after five min " Ramesh ko phone dena.
She will cry with all galis.
You just drop the phone.

Call after another five min "Main Ramesh bol raha hun, Mera koi phone to nahi aya na?
------------------------
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"

"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."
------------------------
A kid was playing with his newly bought play train. After every turn was completed the kid stopped the train and shouted, "Station aa gaya hai! Jis ULLU KE PATHEY ko utarna hai utar jaey!"
Then he let the train go on the round and stopped it again at the same place. He shouted, "Station aa gaya hai! Jis ULLU KE PATHEY ko utarna hai utar jaey!"
And so it went for sometime. Everytime the train stopped the kid would scream the same sentence. His Dad, sitting near him, got a little worried about the kid using bad language. He took the train away from him and scolded the child, "Don't talk like that!"
The kid sat silently for sometime and Dad couldn't bear to see the sad innocent face. He returned the train back to him saying, "Now son, don't talk like that again."
The kid started playing. The train took the same turn and stopped and the kid shouted, "Station aa gaya hai! Jis ULLU KE PATHE ko utarna hai utar jaey! Pehley hee ek ULLU KE PATHEY ke waja se train aadha ghanta late ho gaee hai!"

CHEMISTRY OF GIRLS

SYMBOL MISS
ATOMIC WEIGHT HIGHLY VARIABLE
ATOMIC NUMBER 420

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

1 BOILS VERY RAPIDLY
2 FREEZE VERY QUICKLY
3 MELTS QUICKLY ON RECEIVING GIFTS


CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

1 VERY ACTIVE AND HIGHLY REACTIVE
2 POSSES GREAT AFFINITY FOR GOLD, SILVER & OTHER COSTLY ITEMS
3 VIOLENT REACTIONS IF MADE TO WAIT & LEFT ALONE
4 TURNS RED WHEN PLACED BESIDES BETTER LOOKING SPECIMEN OF
SAME SPECIES

OTHER PROPERTIES

1 STAINED OR OVER-STAINED WITH POWDER, LIPSTICK & ALL OTHER
COSMETICS
2 NEVER AGES BEYOND SWEET 16
3 CRIES INSTANTANEOUSLY

USES

1 A FAST MEDIUM OF SPREADING TOP SECRETS
2 BEST INCOME OR POCKET MONEY REDUCING AGENT

CAUTION

1 HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE
2 HANDLE WITH CARE & AT UR OWN RISK

Good Ones!!!!!!!!

1. God is real, unless declared integer

2. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.

3. Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

4. Home is where the television is.

5. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.

6. Death is hereditary.

7. Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

8. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

9. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

10.Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

11.Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like
everyone else..

12.Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.

13.Well done is better than well said.

14.Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody
is looking.

15.They say hard work never hurt anybody, but why take the chance.

16.Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

17.You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

18.I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

19.If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

20.Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.

21.The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching
train.

22.Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

23.I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.

24.Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

25.LUCK...stands for Labouring Under Correct Knowledge

26.Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things
that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.

27.The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.

28.There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and
the right side.

29.An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes
it sound confusing

Good Jokes!!!!!!!!

A Boy got a job in a Girls Hostel .


After a month ,

Warden asked: why didn't u came to take ur Salary ?
Boy said: Kya ???

Salary bhi milegi!
-----------------
Hugli Hugli Dugli DUgli Bugli Bugli

Ugly Ugly Bussssssss

Hans mut yeh mantar Rang KAALA karne ka tha jo tune parh liya.....

Ab tera kia hoga KAAALIYAAA....??
------------------------------------------------
Shrabi phoned wife:Main ghar ni aa sakda!

car da stering,gear, deshbord chori ho gya

Aftr smtime he phoned again Main aa riha ha,pehla pichli seat te beh gya c!
-----------------------
Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho...

Itna katil kaise sharma lete ho.. bachpan se hi kamine ho ya surat aise bana lete ho....
------------------------
Ek bacche ki pehli class thi
ghar aakar uski mummi ne poocha- kya seekha school me???
.Baccha bola kuch nahi mummi unhone kal phir bulaya hai. ------(veeraat qwe)
-----------------------------------
Ek sharabi ne bahut sharab pili thi aur bar me lait gaya tha.
Waiter ko dya aa gayi wo bola saheb kursi par baith jaayiye
sharabi bola nahi mei khara hi theek hoon. ------(veeraat qwe)
----------------------------------------------------

Think over it

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them." The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! "Life is too short and friends are too few."
***************************************************************************

Computer programmer's shayri

Kal jab mile thhe....
to dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehte hain...
your file not found!



Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga...




Shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye...




Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to double-click karo...





Roz subha hum karte hain
py! ar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekti hain
jaise 0 errors aur 5 warning...





Aisa bhi nahin hai ke
I don't like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
No more disk space.




Ghar se jab tum nikale
pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya Server down.

Just laughs - Santa Banta

An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards !

**********
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.

**********

How did Santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

*********
Santa: I have swallowed a Key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

*********

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .

**********
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!

***********
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

***********
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where.

************
Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"

************
Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously...
Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.

************
Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.

************
Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home . The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming , earlier I sat on the back seat.


ha...ha....ha....

Fwd: Manager

A Senior Manager working in an MNC, as usual after lunch goes to the cafeteria for coffee.

He relaxes in canteen. He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there.

To Kill time he decides to have fun with him.

He calls him.

Senior Manager - (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn?

Canteen boy smiles...

Senior Manager - what are your future plans?

Canteen boy keeps quiet...

Senior Manager - where do you see yourself 10 years down the line?

Canteen boy gives a cold stare.

Senior Manager - Jab mai Bangalore aaya tha tab mere paas bhi kuch nahi tha.... Aaj mere paas kya nahin hai...

naam hai..........,

shohrat hai.........,

paisa hai............

Izzat Hai.............,

tumhare paas kya hai?

Scroll down to find out his answer

Don't think that he answered like Shashi Kapoor of Deewar ki "Mere

paas Maa hain"


Just Scroll some more..............


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Canteen boy - Sa'ab mere paas bahut KAAM hai....

Senior Manager leaves the cafeteria silently.....

--
Keep Smiling...
__._,_.__

This is what life is

This is what life is everybody are experiancing please be careful when you select a person for your life.

 

 

 

 

 

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
 - David Bassinette

 

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
 - Sacha Guitry

 

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
 - Hemant Joshi??

 

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
 - Socrates

 

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
 - Dumas

 

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
 - Sigmund Freud

 

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
 - Anonymous

 

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
 - Henny Youngman

 

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
 - Sam Kinison

 

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
 - James Holt McGavran

 

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
 - Patrick Murray

 

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
 - Nash

 

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
 - Anonymous

 

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
 - Henny Youngman

 

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
 - Rodney Dangerfield

 

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
 - Milton Berle

 

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.    
 - Anonymous 

A page from every 'Guy's Dairy!!!

A page from every 'Guy's Dairy!!!

Everyone in their lives would have had crushes, and me too had my share
of crushes. But, it didn't take much time for each of them to turn to
crashes.

None of my crushes took off, or probably they crashed even before they
took off !! Today, when I look back, I cant manage but to have a laugh.

My first crush was on Miss R. I was in my tenth then. We happened to
speak only once. It was when I had offered her a coke. She refused to
have it and the very next moment I gulped it down. I still cant forget
the dumbstruck look on her face. A few days later, she started going
around with one of my classmates. They used to go for wonderful evening
walks, Miss R, my classmate and her doggy. Unfortunately(fortunately for
me), the affair didn't last too long. On one such romantic walk of
theirs, my classmate was bitten by the doggy. He brought up the question
: Its me or the dog......she chose the dog !!! The news gave me sadistic
pleasure.


I was in a co-ed school for my 11th-12th. I got very friendly with Miss
N in my class. It appeared to me that...yes...she is the girl. One day,
Miss N came and sat next to me...close...really close.....my heart beats
shot up. She said.. I want to tell you something....but please maintain
it as a secret. I knew...this was it...yes....she went on...you
know...X(another classmate of mine) proposed me......and I too like
him...and I accepted. I am telling you coz you are like my
brother.......WHAT THE HECK ? As if the first news wasn't bad enough,
the second sounded suicidal. I looked at her with an artificial smile
and said....Congrats S..S..Sis !!!


The next crush didn't take much time to happen. It was Miss S who walked
in to class. I literally had my jaws hanging seeing her. We became good
friends...but I never fancied my chances...given the Miss N experience.
She was my Biology project partner....while she did the project...I
concentrated on her biology ! Just as the boards got over, and as I was
mustering enough courage to tell her, her dad got transferred. She
changed the city.


Next in engineering college, there was this hottie in my class.
Boy....she was a babe...Miss G. She used to stand opposite to me in the
chemistry lab.I prayed for some chemistry to happen between us.
But I guess, she was much smarter than I was. Miss G realised that
I used to mess up all my titration experiments coz I used to be
looking at her and not the lab apparatus. I called her out ALONE
on my b'day. She turned up with her whole bunch of friends.
The girls kept giggling and I looked for a place where I could go
and bang my head. I steered clear of her for the rest of my
engineering days.


Moving on from here, it was a major success story. This time round, it
took some time for things to crash....just a little longer..a bit more
than five years. Everything seemed like a fairy tale when the crash
factor took the better of me.


By this time, I was in my job and I decided to use the term "interest"
instead of crush. So , my interest grew in Miss L in office. I thought
she was a very pretty lady. Thankfully, the growth of my interest
stopped very soon, the moment I learnt that she was supposed to go on
leave the next week for her marriage. She was to marry her long time
boyfriend. Only one thought came to my mind....The good ones are always
taken !!!


Ha ha ha.....thankfully.....I have grown out of all these......no more
CRUSHES.....so no chances of CRASHES......
I live this way now.....hey...wait.....who is this girl???? !!!!!!!!!!!!!

--
Keep Smiling...