: :::Month of Birth:::

Some facts about your Month of Birth:-

JANUARY
* Ambitious and serious
* Loves to teach and be taught
* Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses
* Likes to criticise
* Hardworking and productive
* Smart, neat and organised
* Sensitive and has deep thoughts
* Knows how to make others happy
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Rather reserved
* Highly attentive
* Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
* Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
* Loves children
* Homely person
* Loyal
* Needs to improve social abilities
* Easily jealous

 

FEBRUARY
* Abstract thoughts
* Loves reality and abstract
* Intelligent and clever
* Changing personality
* Temperamental
* Quiet, shy and humble
* Low self esteem
* Honest and loyal
* Determined to reach goals
* Loves freedom
* Rebellious when restricted
* Loves aggressiveness
* Too sensitive and easily hurt
* Showing anger easily
* Dislike unnecessary things
* Loves making friends but rarely shows it
* Daring and stubborn
* Ambitious
* Realising dreams and hopes
* Sharp
* Loves entertainment and leisure
* Romantic on the inside not outside
* Supersticious and ludicrous
* Spendthrift
* Learns to show emotions 

 

 MARCH
* Attractive personality
* Affectionate
* Shy and reserved
* Secretive
* Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic
* Loves peace and serenity
* Sensitive to others
* Loves to serve others
* Not easily angered
* Trustworthy
* Appreciative and returns kindness
* Observant and assess others
* Revengeful
* Loves to dream and fantasize
* Loves travelling
* Loves attention
* Hasty decisions in choosing partners
* Loves home decors
* Musically talented
* Loves special things
* Moody 
      
 

 APRIL
* Active and dynamic
* Decisive and hasteful but tends to regret
* Attractive and affectionate to oneself
* Strong mentality
* Loves attention
* Diplomatic
* Consoling
* Friendly and solves people's problems
* Brave and fearless
* Adventurous
* Loving and caring
* Suave and generous
* Emotional
* Revengeful
* Agressive
* Hasty
* Good memory
* Moving
* Motivate oneself and the others
* Sickness usually of the head and chest
* Easily get too jealous

 

 MAY
* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* Strong-willed and highly motivated
* Sharp thoughts
* Easily angered
* Attracts others and loves attention
* Deep feelings
* Beautiful physically and mentally
* Firm standpoint
* Easily influenced
* Needs no motivation
* Easily consoled
* Systematic (left brain)
* Loves to dream
* Strong clairvoyance
* Understanding
* Sickness usually in the ear and neck
* Good imagination
* Good debating skills
* Good physical
* Weak breathing
* Loves literature and the arts
* Loves travelling
* Dislike being at home
* Restless
* Hardworking
* High spirited
* Spendthrift

 

 JUNE
* Thinks far with vision
* Easily influenced by kindness
* Polite and soft-spoken
* Having lots of ideas
* Sensitive
* Active mind
* Hesitating
* Tends to delay
* Choosy and always wants the best
* Temperamental
* Funny and humorous
* Loves to joke
* Good debating skills
* Talkative
* Daydreamer
* Friendly
* Knows how to make friends
* Abiding
* Able to show character
* Easily hurt
* Prone to getting colds
* Loves to dress up
* Easily bored
* Fussy
* Seldom show emotions
* Takes time to recover when hurt
* Brand conscious
* Executive
* Stubborn
* Those who loves me are enemies
* Those who hates me are friends 
      
 

 JULY
* Fun to be with
* Secretive
* Difficult to fathom and to be understood
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Takes pride in oneself
* Has reputation
* Easily consoled
* Honest
* Concern about people's feelings
* Tactful
* Friendly
* Approachable
* Very emotional
* Tempramental and unpredictable
* Moody and easily hurt
* Witty and sarky
* Sentimental
* Not revengeful
* Forgiving but never forgets
* Dislike nonsensical and unnecessary things
* Guides others physically and mentally
* Sensitive and forms impressions carefully
* Caring and loving
* Treats others equally
* Strong sense of sympathy
* Wary and sharp
* Judge people through observations
* Hardworking
* No difficulties in studying
* Loves to be alone
* Always broods about the past and the old friends
* Likes to be quiet
* Homely person
* Waits for friends
* Never looks for friends
* Not aggressive unless provoked
* Prone to having stomach and dieting problems
* Loves to be loved
* Easily hurt but takes long to recover
* Overly concerned
* Puts in effort in work

  

 AUGUST 
* Loves to joke
* Attractive
* Suave and caring
* Brave and fearless
* Firm and has leadership qualities
* Knows how to console others
* Too generous and egoistic
* Taked high pride of oneself
* Thirsty for praises
* Extraodinary spirit
* Easily angered
* Angry when provoked
* Easily jealous
* Observant
* Careful and cautious
* Thinks quickly
* Independent thoughts
* Loves to lead and to be led
* Loves to dream
* Talented in the arts, music and defence
* Sensitive but not petty
* Poor resistance against illnesses
* Learns to relax
* Hasty and rushy
* Romantic
* Loving and caring
* Loves to make friends

 

SEPTEMBER
* Suave and compromising
* Careful, cautious and organised
* Likes to point out people's mistakes
* Likes to criticize
* Quiet but able to talk well
* Calm and cool
* Kind and sympathetic
* Concerned and detailed
* Trustworthy, loyal and honest
* Does work well
* Sensitive
* Thinking
* Good memory
* Clever and knowledgeable
* Loves to look for information
* Must control oneself when criticising
* Able to motivate oneself
* Understanding
* Secretive
* Loves sports, leisure and travelling
* Hardly shows emotions
* Tends to bottle up feelings
* Choosy especially in relationships
* Loves wide things
* Systematic 
       

OCTOBER
* Loves to chat
* Loves those who loves him
* Loves to takes things at the centre
* Attractive and suave
* Inner and physical beauty
* Does not lie or pretend
* Sympathetic
* Treats friends importantly
* Always making friends
* Easily hurt but recovers easily
* Bad tempered
* Selfish
* Seldom helps unless asked
* Daydreamer
* Very opinionated
* Does not care of what others think
* Emotional
* Decisive
* Strong clairvoyance
* Loves to travel, the arts and literature
* Soft-spoken, loving and caring
* Romantic
* Touchy and easily jealous
* Concerned
* Loves outdoors
* Just and fair
* Spendthrift and easily influenced
* Easily lose confidence

 

NOVEMBER
* Has a lot of ideas
* Difficult to fathom
* Thinks forward
* Unique and brilliant
* Extraodinary ideas
* Sharp thinking
* Fine and strong clairvoyance
* Can become good doctors
* Careful and cautious
* Dynamic in personality
* Secretive
* Inquisitive
* Knows how to dig secrets
* Always thinking
* Less talkative but amiable
* Brave and generous
* Patient
* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* If there is a will, there is a way
* Determined
* Never give up
* Hardly become angry unless provoked
* Loves to be alone
* Thinks differently from others
* Sharp-minded
* Motivates oneself
* Does not appreciates praises
* High-spirited
* Well-built and tough
* Deep love and emotions
* Romantic
* Uncertain in relationships
* Homely
* Hardworking
* High abilities
* Trustworhty
* Honest and keeps secrets
* Not able to control emotions
* Unpredictable

 

DECEMBER
* Loyal and generous
* Patriotic
* Active in games and interactions
* Impatient and hasty
* Ambitious
* Influential in organisations
* Fun to be with
* Loves to socialise
* Loves praises
* Loves attention
* Loves to be loved
* Honest and trustworthy
* Not pretending
* Short tempered
* Changing personality
* Not egoistic
* Takes high pride in oneself
* Hates restrictions
* Loves to joke
* Good sense of humor
* Logical  

Marriage jokes .... ???

* Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

* Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

* Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

* Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

* It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

* It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives !

* A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.

* Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

* There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage

* Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai?
Takee vo marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare...

* Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?
To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead !

* Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman

* There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

* Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

* Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

__._,_.___

Wacky Definitions!!!

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

India can buy virtually 7 developing nations.

Shock for the Nation!!! (Believe it or not)
Do you know that India is the richest country in the world!



Right now, India is the richest country in the world! Wondering how? It's really amazing.

It's due to Mr. G Vaidyaraj, who donated all his wealth, about which he actually did not know.

He is a descendent of Raja Krishnadev Raya from Mysore district.

For the last 300 years or so, three stones were worshipped in his house.But nobody tried to see what it was, except this person, who is a
lawyer by profession. One day, when there was nobody in his house, he took the stone out to see what it was that they worship.
Due to the dust deposited on it, from many many years, it looked only like a simple stone.
But when he touched it, some portion of the stone was cleansed.
And he saw a bright ray of light.
He saw something which attracted his attention. And he was amazed when he cleaned all of them.The whole room was filled with light.
He discovered they were diamonds of about 4600 carats each.

He informed the Govt. of India and the news is censored with its security.
It's now deposited in a Swiss Bank.
The cost of single diamond exceeds the GDP of USA + UK.
India can buy virtually 7 developing nations.
Even World Bank does not have enough money to buy it.
One diamond costs thrice the debt of World Bank over India.
One such diamond can buy 10 Bill Gates to you.
And the World Bank has proposed the Indian Govt. that it can pay India in Installment if it wishes to do so.

India's GDP is 34.25 billion dollars.

Bill Gates property is 95 billion dollars approximate so that is the way 'nature changes'.

Our Prime Minister has refused to sell it.

He said it will be sold or mortgaged for credit when we need it. Otherwise right now we have no problems.

You can go through Times of India with a small column on it a week ago.

Star TV presented a 115 min documentary on it about 15 days ago.

The Hindu with its half page article in it.

After that it was censored as classified.

Another good news is that in the Desert of Thar a deposit of Oil and
Natural gas have been found. This stores what Kuwait has in its stomach.

India can go with this ONGC energy reserve with another 30 years.
And moreover it can export it to other counties.
It's incredible!! But true.

An Indian boy in his 12th standard has disproved Einstein's 'Theory of Relativity'.
Shocked? Read on...

Sudarshan Reddy has theoretically proven the existence of a sub-atomic particle, which can travel at speed greater than that of light, thereby challenging one of the fundamental postulates of the 'Theory of Relativity'.

In his recent research paper submitted to the Institute of Advanced Physics (IAP) at Trieste (Italy), Sudarshan has proved the existence of a class of sub-atomic particles called leptons', which can travel faster than light.
The international physics community is shocked by this discovery.

Dr.Massimo Martelli, President of the IAP has this to say about the paper submitted by Sudarshan. 'After long, careful and critical
analysis, I can confidently say that Sudarshan's re search papers show tremendous leap in our understanding of physics. His investigation
mounts up on 'leptons'. His work builds substantially on the work of Einstein and others in the field of relativity.'
When physicists from Princeton University tried to measure Sudarshan's IQ with an IQ-meter (at the American Embassy in Delhi), the meter broke down.
Sudarshan, incidentally, is the brother of Madhu Reddy, the Indian whiz kid who developed an operating system superior to Microsoft Windows.
We should all be very proud of these boys.

Please forward this email to as many Indians ………

Funny Jokes

Naughty Answers!


Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says :

"If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".
************ ********* ********* ********* *****

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, "send me a brother"
Santa wrote back,

" SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
************ ********* ********* ********* *

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

************ ********* ********* *****

Husband asks:

"Do u know that the meaning of WIFE is:
W ithout
I nformation
F ighting
E very-time
Wife replies :

" No,......
It means:
W ith
I diot
F or
E ver !!!"

************ ********* ********* ********* **

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.
************ ********* ********* ********* *

Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack
& our driver ran away
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *

A young boy asks his Dad :"What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my
son, THAT is confidential.

Fwd: Anyone wants to get married?

Read it completely!!!!!!  

hi,

This is Ultimate.................I bet u can't stop laughing.

These are Girls profiles taken from shaadi.com These are actual ads on

a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a

profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If

any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good

education but i working all field in bangalore if u like me u

welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident

or send u letter..

Thanks

yours Regards Sowmya ~*~

(Truly yours)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state

she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

(Homework?)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I

love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love.

I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i

love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on

........hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my

lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot

(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but

while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO

LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL

MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY

THEY ARE

1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.

2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION

3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing {laughing})

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone

groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he

would be called the man of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

Infact she doesn ?t know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP ? ?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I

love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is

suffering from "Ok-syndrome")

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father &

mother sister completely married

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married

' completely'?)

( Confused ????? )

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me

pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! J )

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)

(Plz ? for gods sake ask somebody ?s help in framing sentence )

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.

i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the

good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other

caste accepted .

(but credit cards not accepted..???)

(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit s??????? Is there

anything like that.)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social

service.

(Zebra..???)

(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color)

 

Jokes

Lady: Is this my train?

Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter ?
~~~~~~
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."

Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
~~~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions .
~~~~~~~~
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
~~~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
~~~~~~~
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
~~~~~~~
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
' How long has what been going on?' said the man.
~~~~~~~
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
~~~~~~~~
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

DIVORCE VS. MURDER

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy,   walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,   "I would like to buy some cyanide."         The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"         The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."         The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed,   "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license!           They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen.   Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"         The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.         The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,   "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

laugh out louder

See, how people write leave Applications.    

It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.  

Just Read It.

The Leave Applications;)

·  Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."

---

·   This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

---

·  Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:  
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

---

·  From H.A.L. Administration Dept:  
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

---

·  Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:  
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

---

·  An incident of a leave letter:  
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."

---

·  A leave letter to the headmaster:  
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

---

·  Another leave letter written to the headmaster:  
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

---

·  Covering note:  
"I am enclosed herewith..."

---

·  Another one:  
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

---

·  Actual letter written for application of leave:  
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

---

·  Letter writing:-  
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

---

·  A candidate's job application:  
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

How Star Says Sorry !

The way people apologise and their style of saying sorry depends a lot on their personality and zodiac traits. No wonder Leos embarrass you when they say sorry while Arians will actually annoy you with their apology?... ARIES For starters, Arians think they are so sweet,they could not have possibly said or done things that need an apology. So in the unlikely possibility of them actually going down their knees to apologise, it will be a simple sorry.Nothing less, nothing more!! TAURUS They are so scared to face others when they make a mistake that by the time they resurface to tender an apology, the damage is done.So Taurans end up making foes out of friends because of their laxity in apologizing GEMINI Geminis think they are infallible and therefore will never really apologise for anything. But once they realize, they prefer to act as if nothing happened, and behave normally with people who have a problem rather than remind others of the incident by tendering an apology CANCER Cancerians will make you feel sorry for demanding one when they make a mistake. They are the legendary characters that burn hands and slash their fingers in order to display the quantum of their repentance. Their repentance is dangerous!! LEO Leos are a delightful bunch even when they are trying to make up for their follies. They will go down their knees, buy flowers, put up sorry posters.. do everything colorful to flatter you and make up for their mistakes. In fact it's fun to induce them to make a mistake and let them apologize for it VIRGO Virgos will first formally set aside a time and date and inform them what they want to tell you. Then they will mentally prepare themselves to talk out the same things. They will finally draft the script and read out whatever they want to. In short, even their heartfelt apologies sound like well-drafted scripts LIBRA They are very vocal once they realize their folly. They never ever hesitate to come clean and admit their mistakes. In fact, they will go out of their way to convince you about how genuinely sorry they are. SCORPIO Scorpios are formal and think that tendering an apology is more of a formality. So instead of just saying sorry, they will send a formal mail or send a card, whatever it takes to avoid direct confrontation. SAGITTARIUS Sagittarians don't believe in being sorry or apologizing. For them, it is human to err and therefore saying sorry is just redundant. Interestingly, even if others make mistakes, they are pretty cool and don't expect much from them. CAPRICORN They can't take a simple sorry. They need reasons,explanations, written letters and the works to get elicit an 'ok, you may go now' phrase. They are hard to please and even harder to appease. AQUARIUS They are sweet, genuine and innovative when they think they are wrong and need to undo the damage. Aquarians are easy on their mistakes and don't take too much time to do their sorrying. PISCES Pisceans don't easily give in because they believe that everything is about perspective. So if somebody thinks they made a mistake!!, it's because they have a wonky perspective. Pisceans and apologies? No chance!!!

Fwd: Enjoy

One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed
in her cleavage.
She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How
about you, Johnny ?"
"Milk!" answered Little Johnny.
"No, I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer. Roses drink
water," explained the
teacher.
"Wow!" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't know the stem was
that long!"