Few Old Joke

MBA Vs BE
    
A MBA and a BE go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep.
Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend.  
    
"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see".

The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"
    
The MBA ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

Why, what does it tell you?"

    
The BE is silent for a moment, then speaks.
"Practically. ..someone has stolen our tent".

          
" ENGINEERING  =   100% COMMON SENSE "

Lateral Thinking (MUST READ)

This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking.

Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.

Think like a wizard . . .






     man
Q1.    ---------
     board

Ans. = man overboard





Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.








   stand
Q2.    ------------
 i

Ans. = I understand









OK .. . .



Got the drift ?







Let's try a few now and see

how you fare ?






Q3.    /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/

Ans. = reading between the lines











Q4.      r  
         road  
          a    
      d










Ans. = cross road -->








Not having a good day now, are you ?


Redeem yourself.










Q5.      cycle  
       cycle  
     cycle













Ans. = tricycle








Not easy to figure out ha!












    0
Q6.      ---------  
     M..D.
     Ph.D.














Ans.. = two degrees below zero









C'mon give it a little thought! !










       knee
Q7.      ------------
     light














Ans. = neon light



( knee - on - light )









U can prove u r smart by getting this one.







                       ground  
Q8.                      ---------------
                  feet feet feet feet feet feet

















Ans. = six feet underground






-->


Oh no, not again ! !












Q9.    he's X  himself













Ans. = he's by himself









Now u messing up big time.










Q10.      ecnalg













Ans. = backward glance








Not even close! !










Q11.      death ..... life














Ans. = life after death








Okay last chance ..................



Q12.     THINK














Ans. = think big ! !










And the last one is real fundoo - - -

Q13.  

ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb...










Ans. =  long time no 'C' -->

 

malayali jokes

Q: Where did the Malayali study?
A: In the ko-liage.
Q: Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
A: He is very bissi.

Q: Why did the Malayali buy and air-ticket?
A: To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff.

Q: Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?
A: To yearn meney.

Q: What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
A: He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

Q: Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome?
A: Because he wanted to hear pope music.

Q: How does a Malayali spell moon?
A: MOON - Yem Yo yet another Yo and Yem

Q: What is Malayali management graduate called?
A: Yem Bee Yae.

Q: What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
A: He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

Q: What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
A: An Oto

Q: And for cargo?
A: Loree

Q: Where does he pray?
A: Demble

Q: Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A: A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

Q: Name the only part of the werld, where Malayali's dont werk hard?
A: Kerala

Q: Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
A: Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting,folding and re-tying the lungi.

Jokes....

Math Class

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing mathproblems when his teacher picked him to answer a question..

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting ona fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?"

"None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the restwould fly away."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher."But I like the way you are thinking."

Little Johnny said, "I have a question foryou now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, onelicking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one suckingher cone, which one is married?

Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guessthe one sucking the cone?

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with thewedding ring on her finger.But

I like the way you are thinking..

******************************

 

Red and Shiny

The teacher, in an attempt to stimulate theirminds, asked the class the following question, " What is bright red andshiny?"

Little Johnny jumped up and shouted, " A fire engine !!!!???"

"No! No!" said the teacher," But I like the way you think.. Anyoneelse?"

Little Susan replied that it was an apple and the teacher was happy except

Johnny of course..

Anyway, Little Johnny asked the teacher if he can ask a question to which

she nodded OK.

" What is long,hard, rounded and has hair atone end? "

"JOHNNY!!!" she screamed, "WE'LL HAVE NONE OFTHAT TALK HERE..."

Johnny replied, " No, it's a toothbrush, butI like the way youthink"..

 

*******************************************************

 

A priest is out for an afternoon stroll and turns the corner and finds little Johnny with a hammer smashing the daylights out of

a bunch of ants. The kid is saying to himself, "I hate these fucking ants...I hate these fucking ants."

The priest is taken back by the little boy's language and talks to him, saying that God doesn't make junk.

"Tomorrow I will be coming by again and if you can tell me three things that God created that are worthless, then I will let you

continue killing the ants."

The next afternoon, the priest is out again for his walk and comes upon little Johnny smashing ants again. The priest reminds him of the agreement

that they made saying the boy agreed not to kill any more ants unless he could name three things that God created that are worthless.

Little Johnny looks up with a devilish smile and says, "I do know three things that are totally worthless. The first is a prick on a priest, the

second is tits on a nun, and the third are these fucking ants!"............

Little Johnny trying myspace

Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." 

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" 

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework."

" And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's  teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" 

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" 

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two,the sum of which is four."

Little Johny - Caught the Daddy

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him  sitting on the side of his bed putting a condom onto his penis in  preparation of sex with his wife. 

Johnny's father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on  it, bent over as if to look under the bed. 

Little Johnny asked curiously "Whatcha doin daddy?" 

His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the  bed,  to which Little Johnny replied 

"Whatcha gonna do, f*@#% him?"

Little Johny And his Solutions

The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months." Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"

Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."