What a Joke :-0

1. Signboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed.
We serve the needy, not the greedy...

2. Yesterday's news : An aunty was raped while jogging.
Today's news: More aunties found jogging.

3. How do Municipal Buses help in Family Planning?
By spreading the Message: KRIPYA PEECHHE SE CHADHIYE

4. Written on the T-Shirt of a girl:
SITUATORY WARNING: Objects inside the T-Shirt are larger than they appear from outside.

6. Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain !
Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.

7. Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for identification parade.

When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: "Yahi thee, Yahi thee"

8. Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations. At the time of packing Santa thinks:

Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom saath le jaa rahi hai.

The Real love story - Happened in Gujrat

A boy and a girl were in love.
 
When the girl's father came to know
about their love, he did not like it at
all, and so began to protest about it.



Now it happened that the two lovers
decided to leave their homes for a happy
future.



The girl's father started searching for
the two lovers but could not find
them .



At last, he accepted their love and
asked them to come back home thru a



local newspaper. Her father said "If
you both come back I will allow you to marry the
guy you love, I accept that you loved
each other truly."





So in this way, their love won and they
returned home.



The couple next day went to town to shop
for the wedding dress. He was dressed
in a white shirt that day. While he was
crossing the road to the other side to
get some drinks for his wife, a car
came and hit him and he died on the spot.



The girl was devastated and lost her
senses. It was only after sometime that
she recovered from her shock.



The funeral and cremation was the very
next day because he had died horribly.



Two nights later, the girl's mother had
a dream in which she saw an old lady.
The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood
stains of the guy from her daughter's
dress as soon as possible. But her
mother ignored the dream.





The next night her father had the same
dream , he also ignored it. Then the
girl had the same dream the next night, she
woke up in fear and told her mother
about the dream. Her mother asked her
to wash the clothes with the blood
stains

immediately.







She washed the stains but some remained.
Next night she again had the same
dream. She again washed the stains but some
still remained. But again the next
night she had the same dream and this
time the old lady gave her a last
warning to wash the blood stain, or
else something terrible would happen.



This time the girl tried her best to
wash the stains, and the clothes
nearly tore, but some stains still remained.

She was very tired.







In the late evening the same day while
she was alone at home, someone knocked
on the door. When she opened the door
she saw the same old lady of her dream
standing at her door. She got very
scared and fainted.







The old lady woke her up... and gave her
a blue object, which shocked the girl.

She asked "What is this...?" The old
lady replied...

..

.. .

..

..

..

..

..

















"This is Nirma Washing Powder"



"Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma



Doodh si safedi nirma se aaye,



Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaye,



sabki pasand nirma



Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma.Nirma"



10 ka 1, do pe ek free











I know how you all are feeling now...



I have been through this too.

Little Johnny Recession Days Market is Down Johnny

A new teacher was getting to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father did for a living.

The first little girl said: “My name is Mary and my Daddy is a postman.”

The next child, a little boy said: “I’m Andy and my Dad is a mechanic.”

And so it went until one little boy said: “My name is Johnny and my father is a striptease artist in a gay club.”

The teacher gasped and quickly changed the subject. Later, in the school yard, the teacher

approached Little Johnny privately and asked if it was really true that his dad danced nude in a gay bar.

Little Johnny blushed and said, “No, he’s really a Business Development Director at Infosys, but I’m just too embarrassed to tell anyone.”

Satyam

Infosys

Yahoo

Google

Little Johnny Recession Days Market is Down Johnny

A new teacher was getting to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father did for a living.

The first little girl said: “My name is Mary and my Daddy is a postman.”

The next child, a little boy said: “I’m Andy and my Dad is a mechanic.”

And so it went until one little boy said: “My name is Johnny and my father is a striptease artist in a gay club.”

The teacher gasped and quickly changed the subject. Later, in the school yard, the teacher

approached Little Johnny privately and asked if it was really true that his dad danced nude in a gay bar.

Little Johnny blushed and said, “No, he’s really a Business Development Director at Lehmaan Brothers, but I’m just too embarrassed to tell anyone.”

Little Johnny and President candidate - an example of a tragedy

Presidential candidate, Rakss was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the presidential candidate if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So our illustrious democrat presidential candidate asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'. 

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.' 

'No,' said Rakss, 'that would be an accident.' 

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.' 

'I'm afraid not,' explained Rakss. 'That's what we would call great loss.' 
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Rakss searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said:
'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Rakss was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.' 

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Rakss. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?' 

'Well,' says Johnny, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss... and it probably wouldn't be a accident either.'

Little Johnny vs. President Fans - Election Time Joke

A teacher in Elmira , New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were President fans.
Not really knowing what an President fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for ......Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...again.
Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not an President fan.'
The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you an President fan?'
Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Republican.'
The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.
Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mom 's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican.'
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, 'That would make me ......an President fan.'

Funny Little Johnny Jokes - Funny Jokes

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
______________________________ _____________________________

TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
______________________________ _____________________________
TEACHER : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
______________________________ _____________________________

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
______________________________ _____________________________
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
______________________________ _____________________________

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
______________________________ _____________________________
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
______________________________ ____________________________
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
_____________________________
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

Election Jokes

All funny Election jokes @ 

http://www.101funjokes.com/election-jokes.htm

How to kill your mother in law

How to kill your mother in law


A long time ago in China , a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all.

Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting.

But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband! D great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-! law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it! Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.

She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."

Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving.

Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you, when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. "Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Li-Li was so happy.

She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper!r, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.

Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves others will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in another person's life through you. Send this to your friends and spread the POWER OF LOVE.

After Lunch Jokes - Take them easy

Q1. RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ?? Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )   Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI   Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory) Q3. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? :-)   Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener Q4. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?   Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai! Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi? Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!! Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??  Socho....... ........ Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver). Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha? Ans:- adidas Q8. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls  into the well. Why ?    Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!   Now Kush also jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching done.  Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!   Want one more... Q9. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. nahi pata..?? Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans - D'cold Q10. chalo ab batao... Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ? this is quite  simple.. Ans:- D'Cold again kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi Q11. Jugal Hansraj and Mayuri Kango bus stop par khade the. Bus aayi - Mayuri gayi, magar Jugal nahin gaya - kyon? Ans:- Because Mayuri 'can - go'.   Ek aur.. Q12. Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol chali gayi, par  Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon?? think harder...   Ans:-Kyonke woh Kajol ko chorne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha...   Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe   Q13. kamal ,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the.. bus aai vimal  chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata hai why??? Ans :- Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!   aur chhaiye...theek hai Q15. Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus stop pe khade the... bus aai aur Kadar Khan chad jata hai per Shakti Kapoor nahin jata Qyo???  Ans :- Qyonkieeeeeee woh Shakti Kapoor dusri bus ke wait kar raha tha   aakhri sawaal ....   Q16. Amitabh aur Pran dono bus estop pe khade the...bus aai aur Pran chad jata hai per Amitabh nahin jata Qyo???  Ans :- pran jaye per bacchan na jaye   Chalo last one ha !   Q17..Kapil Dev goes to Echo point and shouts loudly 'Pamolive' But there dont  come any echo sound why ?  Ans:- Because Palmolive ka jawab nahi !!

Investment Ideas! INVEST WISELY !!

Investment Ideas! 
 
 
If you purchased $1,000 of Delta Airlines stock 1 year ago, you would have $49 today.

If you purchased $1,000 of AIG stock 1 year ago, you would have $33 today.

If you purchased $1,000 of Lehman Brothers stock 1 year ago, you would have $0.0 today.

But, if you purchased $1,000 worth of beer 1 year ago, drank all the beer, returned the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you wouldhave $214.

 

INVEST WISELY !!

Collection of little johnny's funny jokes and lot more..

Digg this blog by clicking - http://digg.com/comedy/Collection_of_little_johnny_s_funny_jokes_and_lot_moreRead great Little Johnny Jokes here, Its a great and one point collection to read and laugh.Read one snapshot of Little Johnny --Little Johny once asked his teacher "Do hearts have legs?." The teacher answered "Why do you ask that?" Johny replied "Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs."

read more | digg story

Gift - An Italian girl - Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent

GIFT

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!"

The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked.

"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said

"Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for few months to see if it is a girl !!!"

Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent!

One Bedroom Flat!!! Written by an Indian Software Engineer.. A Bitter Reality

WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER..
A
Bitter Reality

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in
Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the
land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it
was as if a dream had come true.


Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I
would be staying in this country for about Five years in which
time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after his retirement,
the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.


I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling
homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and
speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone
cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and
pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange
rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have
only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within
these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight.
Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for
all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be
talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through
all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting
shorter I was forced to select one candidate.


In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get
married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After
the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some
money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after
them, we returned to USA.


My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she
started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India
increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our
savings started diminishing.

After two more years we started to
have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us
by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked
me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.


Every year I decide to go to India… But part work part
monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting
Indiawas a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a
message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I
couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ... The
next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there
was no one to do the last rights the society members had done
whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed
away without seeing their grand children.


After couple more years passed away, much to my children's
dislike and my wife's joy we returned to Indiato settle down.
I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my
savings were short and the property prices had gone up during
all these years. I had to return to the USA...


My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to
stay in India... My 2 children and I returned to USAafter
promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an
American and my son was happy living in USA... I decided that
had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India.... I
had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a
well-developed locality.


Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is
for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife
has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes

I wondered was it worth all this?

My father, even after staying in India,

Had a house to his name and I too have
the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing.
This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these
children are losing their values and culture because of it. I
get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well
at least they remember me.


Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will
be performing my last rights, God Bless them.

But the question
still
remains 'was all this worth it?'

I am still searching for an answer.................!!!

START THINKING

IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???

LIFE IS BEYOND THIS …..DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ……..
START LIVING IT …….
LIVE ITAS YOU WANT IT TO BE ……. 

One Bedroom Flat!!! Written by an Indian Software Engineer.. A Bitter Reality

WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER..
A
Bitter Reality

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in
Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the
land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it
was as if a dream had come true.


Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I
would be staying in this country for about Five years in which
time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after his retirement,
the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.


I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling
homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and
speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone
cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and
pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange
rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have
only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within
these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight.
Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for
all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be
talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through
all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting
shorter I was forced to select one candidate.


In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get
married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After
the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some
money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after
them, we returned to USA.


My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she
started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India
increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our
savings started diminishing.

After two more years we started to
have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us
by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked
me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.


Every year I decide to go to India… But part work part
monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting
Indiawas a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a
message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I
couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ... The
next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there
was no one to do the last rights the society members had done
whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed
away without seeing their grand children.


After couple more years passed away, much to my children's
dislike and my wife's joy we returned to Indiato settle down.
I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my
savings were short and the property prices had gone up during
all these years. I had to return to the USA...


My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to
stay in India... My 2 children and I returned to USAafter
promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an
American and my son was happy living in USA... I decided that
had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India.... I
had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a
well-developed locality.


Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is
for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife
has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes

I wondered was it worth all this?

My father, even after staying in India,

Had a house to his name and I too have
the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing.
This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these
children are losing their values and culture because of it. I
get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well
at least they remember me.


Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will
be performing my last rights, God Bless them.

But the question
still
remains 'was all this worth it?'

I am still searching for an answer.................!!!

START THINKING

IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???

LIFE IS BEYOND THIS …..DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ……..
START LIVING IT …….
LIVE ITAS YOU WANT IT TO BE ……. 

Your Joke Site - Little Johnny

Collection of Little Johnny's Funny Jokes and lot more.... All for your Little Johnny To add your jokes to the blog please mail Little Johny (littlejohny.blogspot@googlemail.com) and We will add your blog to the site.

-- Little Johnny

-- Little Johny

-- Little Joohnny

-- Santa Banta

-- You and Me

Little Johnny - Mummy's Ballons

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

Little Johnny - Mummy's Black Sponge

Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her vagina.

He asks her what it is and she embarassed replies, "Oh, that's mommy's black sponge."

A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, "Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!"

She replies, "I lost it, honey."

A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, "Mommy, I found your black sponge!" Mystified, she says, "Where, honey?"

Little Johnny says, "It's over at Mrs. Johnson's house, and Daddy's washing his face in it!"

Little Johnny - Do Hearts Have Legs ?

Little Johny once asked his teacher "Do hearts have legs?."

The teacher answered "Why do you ask that?"

Johny replied "Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs."

Never Ever Lie To A Woman

The Mistake You Cannot Forget

You say you cannot forget
And you aren't ready to forgive
But I need your friendship
More than you'll even know
I need you there to live

Without you by my side today
Life's been going, oh so slow
I miss your calls
Our endless talks
The places we would go

You can't even bear to look at me,
And I know my mistake
For because of one night,
And a few thoughtless actions,
When you saw me you ran and hid

I know we cannot take it back
As much as we would like to
But we could forget
And start all over
Just friends, that's me and you

If time is what you need,
Then I guess that's what you'll get
But I need you there for me soon,
My friend,
I hope you will forget.

Excellent story by a Tata Employee... For all Software Engineers

Award Winning Story........

Toooooo goood……….
 
There was a contest in a company to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line"On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station"
 
This is what a guy wrote for the contest........ And surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story :)
 
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprisedto see the phrase"appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"...  As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
 
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders.
 
My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

Excellent story by a Motorola Employee... For all Software Engineers

Award Winning Story........

Toooooo goood……….
 
There was a contest in a company to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line"On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station"
 
This is what a guy wrote for the contest........ And surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story :)
 
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprisedto see the phrase"appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"...  As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
 
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders.
 
My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

Excellent story by a Vodafone Employee... For all Software Engineers

Award Winning Story........

Toooooo goood……….
 
There was a contest in Vodafone to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line"On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station"
 
This is what a guy wrote for the contest........ And surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story :)
 
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprisedto see the phrase"appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"...  As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
 
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders.
 
My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

Excellent story by a Reliance Employee... For all Software Engineers

Award Winning Story........

Toooooo goood……….
 
There was a contest in Reliance to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line"On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station"
 
This is what a guy wrote for the contest........ And surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story :)
 
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprisedto see the phrase"appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"...  As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
 
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders.
 
My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

Excellent story by a TCS Employee... For all Software Engineers

Award Winning Story........

Toooooo goood……….
 
There was a contest in TCS to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line"On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station"
 
This is what a guy wrote for the contest........ And surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story :)
 
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprisedto see the phrase"appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"...  As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
 
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders.
 
My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

Excellent story by a Wipro Employee... For all Software Engineers

Award Winning Story........

Toooooo goood……….
 
There was a contest in Wipro to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line"On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station"
 
This is what a guy wrote for the contest........ And surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story :)
 
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprisedto see the phrase"appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"...  As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
 
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders.
 
My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

Excellent story by a Infosys Employee... For all Software Engineers

Award Winning Story........

Toooooo goood……….
 
There was a contest in Infosys to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line"On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station"
 
This is what a guy wrote for the contest........ And surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story :)
 
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprisedto see the phrase"appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"...  As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
 
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders.
 
My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

BEER PHILOSOPHY

"Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.

Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, 'It
is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about my liver'"

-- Babe Ruth

************************************************************************



"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
fools."



-- Ernest Hemingway

************************************************************************



"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

-- Paul Hornung

*********************************************



"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

-- H.L. Mencken

************************************************************************



"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"



-- George Bernard Shaw

************************************************************************



"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."



-- Benjamin Franklin

************************************************************************



"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."



-- Dave Barry

************************************************************************



"Remember, it's "I" before "E", except in Budweiser."



-- Professor Irwin Corey

************************************************************************



"To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a 'support group'. Salvation in a
can!"



-- Leo Durocher

************************************************************************

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few
beers."

-- Cliff Clavin

 

Welcome to the Stock Market!!

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to thevillagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10.     The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.  

The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started   catching monkeys again.  

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!  

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.  

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50.  

The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.     Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!  

Welcome to the Stock Market!!

Re: bollywood movies online

==========Watch Movies Online==========

Hindi 

http://www.ibollytv.com/

http://www.hindilinks4u.net/ 

http://filmydesi.blogspot.com

English

http://www.watch-movies.net/

Scare the hell out of your co-passengers

If you're sitting next to someone on a plane who irritates you, try doing this:

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start it up.
4. Make sure the fellow traveller who is annoying you can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky and move your lips like you are praying.
6. Then click here 

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

 
How Smart Is Your Right Foot?
Trust me try this, it takes only few seconds.

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.. Your foot will change direction!!!

I told you so.. And there is nothing you can do about it.

Keep Trying  

Sardar Time

Doctor to sardar patient    : Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai.
Sardar  : Doctor saheb Pehle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai.
Doctor : dawai khali thi kya?
Sardar :  Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.
Doctor : Are Sardar ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya.
Sardar : Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le lit hi.
Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya?
Sardar :  Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi.
Doctor :  Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya?
Sardar :  Nai. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.
Doctor( in frustration) :  Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nai?
Sardar :  Nai doctor saheb.
Doctor : Kyon?
Sardar :  Kyonki dhakkan band tha.
Doctor :  Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai.
Sardar :  Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna.
Doctor : Tera ilaz main nai kar sakta.!
Sardar : Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga

Job Change....

Once a cab driver was driving. Suddenly, the passenger on the back seat
touched the cab driver's shoulder to say something. The cab driver
screamed, went out of the lane, just managed to prevent an accident and
the cab just stopped 1 inch away from a toy shop. Both the driver and
the passenger yelled - "Weuffff!!! Thanks God".
The passenger apologized to the driver - "Hey, I didn't know that one
touch of mine could make you afraid so much. I am sorry."
The cab driver replied - "Hey, it's not your fault. Actually this is the
first day of me as a cab driver. Earlier I was driving a van since 25
years which used to carry deadbodies...."



So, think before you make a job switch !!!

Relation between Girls & Computer

HARD-DISK Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.
 
RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
 
WINDOWS Girls:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
 
SCREENSAVER Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
 
INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to access.
 
 
SERVER Girls:
Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.
 
 
CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.
 
 
E-MAIL Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
 
 
VIRUS Girls:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her,
she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources.
If you try to uninstall her you will lose something,
if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.. ......... .

How we love our politicians ...

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the freeway. Nothing is moving.


Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and
asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped Lalu ji, Advani ji, Sonia ji, Rabri ji, Mayavati devi, Narendra Modi, etc. They're asking for a Rs.500000 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."


The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"
"About a litre."